A meditation in vulnerability

I watch this video from time to time to remind myself where I want my heart. This is a constant practice for me, one that I fail at time and time again. But one that I believe is important and of immeasurable value. Here I am, practicing again. I want to share this with you, in case you haven’t seen it yet. Lets practice being vulnerable together.

Breathing the Tuesday air

Stress, stress STRESS!

First practical exam in osteopathic evaluation coming up a week from today, with the second one in osteopathic tutorials a week on its heels. Today I sat in on the class I missed last week due to travels, and so glad I did. We learn new things all the time, with very little class time spent on review, and while that seems totally reasonable, practical skills can be much harder to pick up than memorization. Somehow, even after two years, I still have trouble counting spinal vertebrae and palpating transverse processes in the neck. Does it even make sense that I can feel nerve and artery tensions and not bones? Hmmm…. something more to learn there.

Trying to clean house, create some space for my roommate who arrives Thursday bright and early. Two more classes, two more nights sleeping, and then taking the train to London for another epic airport moment. It’s funny, no matter how many tear-jerking airport scenes you see in the movies, it’s no less real when you get there. Never knew I’d get to partake, but no complaints! In the meantime there’s laundry to put away, floors to clean, bathrooms to sanitize, groceries to shop for, and maybe some new decor as my horoscope suggests.

Wish me luck as I clean/organize/study/transition/cohabitate/try to maintain stability! :)

Adventure 1: Eugene

First adventure of the year: HOME!!

As the first half of second term was winding down, and my week off was getting closer and closer, all of the ideas were swirling: Stonehenge, Folkstone, Calais, Paris, Wales. As I pondered, each got vetoed for one major reason: I don’t want to travel alone. I considered going home, but I’ve already been there, is that an adventure?

By the end of the week though, I realized that I wasn’t going anywhere unless I

I have learned…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it’s place.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re downhill are the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will get hurt in the process.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

(author unknown)

Things are getting festive…

The signs that the holiday season is in full force are all around. Streets are decked out with lights, displays in store windows, and holiday cheer hung on every lamppost and side of every bus. Christmas carols are playing in all the shops, there is mistletoe for sale at the farmers market, and all the festive sweaters are coming out.

I’ve got my christmas cards in the mail (late, sorry!), stockings hung, and starting to compile ingredients for christmas dinner. A friend from college is driving me to the airport to collect my gift on christmas morning. I’ve had festive music playing on iTunes for two weeks, and it’s starting to work, getting me in the holiday spirit.

I’m not doing many gifts this year, in part because I’m a student again, and watching my budget. Also in solidarity with the occupy movements happening all over, doing my part to keep my money local this year, supporting the farmers and artisans in my region, and contributing to community-spirit and love, rather than materialism and greed. I’m trying to come up with meaningful gestures, rather than expensive objects.

Seasons greetings to all of my readers wherever you are, whoever you’re with, and in whatever way you celebrate this year. Best wishes for a season full of love and laughter with the people who are most important to you, and all the best in 2012!