Month: January 2012

I have learned…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it’s place.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re downhill are the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will get hurt in the process.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

(author unknown)

New 2012 Goals

I’ve realized that I need a plan like this one if I think I’m going to accomplish all of the things on my European to-do list. Thanks to Sarah, I’ve seen how much more I can do if I set goals for myself throughout the year, rather than waiting for the perfect time to present itself 1-by-1. I am going to modify her project to fit my list, 1 adventure and 1 creative project per month in 2012. Since it’s already the evening of January 29th, I will give myself an extension, and complete 2 of each by the end of February. Wish me luck!

12 Months of Creativity

Today I’ve been thinking a lot about what this project has meant to me and how it has helped me to grow. In January of 2011, I was really a pretty wimpy creative person… I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t believe any of my ideas were any good or that anyone else would think they were. I had VERY little confidence in myself as a creative person (which really sucks, considering I’m a graphic designer for a living!! Yikes). I would doubt myself and over-think things to the point of talking myself out of even trying to do them.

These monthly projects have really helped to change a lot of that for me. I feel confident now. I know I am a creative person who has valid ideas to share – who deserves to share them. I doubt myself less and I try not to over-think things or judge…

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Loneliness teaches us about living together

God uses loneliness to teach us about living together.
Sometimes he uses anger so that we can understand the infinite value of peace.
At other times he uses tedium, when he wants to show us the importance of adventure and leaving things behind.
God uses silence to teach us about the responsibility of what we say.
At times he uses fatigue so that we can understand the value of waking up.
At other times he uses sickness to show us the importance of health.
God uses fire to teach us about water.
Sometimes he uses earth so that we can understand the value of air. And at times he uses death when he wants to show us the importance of life.Remember this when for some reason you feel unable to continue on your path.

~ Paulo Coelho ~

taken from Exceptional Living

How to get grounded Series: Get emotionally grounded

Reblogging a wonderful page I follow, How to get grounded Series: Get emotionally grounded. Timely advice for me right now, as life has been hard in 2012, juggling life stresses, and being too cerebral, staying too much in my mind, not spending enough time in my heart and in my body. I recommend you go to the original blog and read the whole article, but here are the highlights:

How to tell if you’re not grounded:

Emotionally….

You don’t feel very stable.

You don’t know how to feel, and often just react on impulse.

Your inner dialogue (the way you talk to yourself in your mind) is not very nice (to say the least).

You find it hard to accept your own feelings or anyone elses feelings.

Suddenly, another persons opinion of you becomes very important.

You get defensive.

You feel indecisive about your life. From big life decisions (should I stay or should I go?) to the smaller, but equally important, ones (What do I want for lunch?). You want to decide, but you justdon’t know!

People keep hurting your feelings.

It’s hard to fall asleep/ stay asleep/ wake up.

You think it’s a great idea to think about the most stressful and emotional things right before you sleep.

You feel very sensitive to other people’s moods and energies, often finding yourself riding their mood swings, just trying to keep afloat.

 (**I recently read in the AMAZING 10/10 book “Difficult Conversations – Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen” that “Crying a lot doesn’t mean that you are express yourself too much. It means you don’t express yourself enough.” So true!)

You cry too much.

You don’t cry at all. (Whichever is more stranger for you)

You feel stressed, overwhlemed, uninspired, lazy (even though you have a voice in your head telling you to get up and get going – you just can’t make yourself do it.)

Everything that happens to you just feels unsatisfying.

————————————————————————————————-
And what to do about it:
1: Let go of toxic people, relationships, and things
2: Do loving things
3: Practice random acts of kindness
4: Write down a list of what is truly bothering you
5: Spend time with a great and happy friend
6: Hand over your problems to the universe to kick some divine butt
7: Start a new project
8: Think about what YOU want
9: Work on developing a stronger sense of self
10: Do little things you like doing
11: Make some new commitments and promises to yourself
Some of these are so obvious, I kick myself for not reminding myself to do them since I recommend them to others all the time. Some of them are hard for me to remember, hard for me to do. (Hand over my problems? But I need an answer, I’ve been working and trying and focusing for weeks! I want to see results!)  But ultimately I always find it’s a relief to do these things. Just reading them makes me feel better. Tonight I had a date with one of my new friends, dinner and a movie. Great to get out and laugh, enjoy the company, and hopefully a little of her groundedness rubbed off on me. ;)

Mitosis, Meiosis, and weird alien cells

First day of embryology today. I once participated in a Visceral Manipulation III (of V) class, and my teacher spent a lot of time going through the embryology, SO FASCINATING. (Consider yourself 1 cm high, standing between layers of tissue, and walk. What’s in front of you? Behind? What do you run into? Where can you go? etc.) So today I was expecting something similar. Well, actually that is a lie. Last week I was expecting something similar. Then my physiology professor told us not to. Because we are students of osteopathy, and because he is a professor of physiology, and because osteopaths primarily need Continue reading →

Neighborhood walking

I am still constantly finding new things to look at each time I walk around my neighborhood. I continue to take new routes and wrong turns, and end up with my mouth open, mandible to femur, whipping out my camera phone so that all the passers-by can see that I’m still a tourist. Yesterday I decided to photograph my walk to town center and back to share my neighborhood with you.

I took this just down the road, practically behind my house and across the tracks. Starting to get used to the architecture, but something about the light/clouds/church caught my full attention.

This is Church Street, which dead ends literally into the town center, on King Street. Lovely homes. I was speculating what the one on the left used to be when it was built in 1873. The  left half seems like the livery, right half the home. Trying to picture it pre-asphalt.

The house on the end gets to hold the street sign. Alternately can be found on fencing, stone walls, and not found at all. ;)

Ah yes, the house under speculation. You can just see the barn doors past the grass.

This church and the building on the immediate left, the old hospital, are both residences now. Quite interesting to see a cafe in a church, but I guess if they’re every mile or two, it becomes a desirable use of space. Just out of sight around the corner of the old hospital is where Geyser, our favorite charcoal-grey VW golf zipcar is parked. Took it for a spin earlier in the month, sunday driving in the countryside. Very convenient and easy.

This is the opposite side of church street, opposite the livery-house, church to the left, complete with osteopathic and chiropody office. This street gets a fair bit of traffic, but every time I pass by I walk a little slower, look up and appreciate the view.

I just love this one! This house catches your eye the moment you turn onto the street, such a gorgeous winter hedge, and so well established and maintained!

And here we are, back home again on Holland Road. I walk up and down everyday, and still find things to stir my curiosity. At first I thought all the houses were the same, but now I start to pick out the sweet, subtle differences. A blue or red door, a wrought iron gate, a palm tree in the garden, bay windows. I’m happy here.

Holland Road – Month 3

Changes continue to happen around here, although the pace for me has slowed. Having help over the past few weeks helped get the ball rolling faster again. I can only take minor credit for the latest developments, but I’m really excited about…

Coat hooks!

Keeps the back of my bedroom door from looking like I’ve hung a body from it, puts coats and helmet near the door where I want them, and such a better use of space! I’m so glad it wasn’t up to me to put anchors and screws into the sheetrock-stone combo of that wall.

The entry and exit got make-overs as well. The visionary moved the gravel, rubbish, and leaves, so that the threshold can be crossed leaving the outside outside.

Also got a set of dressers. I can’t show them to you as they are being utilized now, due to clutter and mess, but I’m sure you can picture them stacked with books, candles, and cards as you view them circa a couple of weeks ago. ;)

Thought it might be time to share with you “doing the washing – UK style.”

The resolution is bad, but I think it’s clear that this rack is layered with practically a whole load. The only reason this works is the heated rack, which I thought was awesome in theory, and is exponentially more useful in practice.

The lovely man bought me gorgeous flowers. Shelley, I warned him…

I owe you before and after pictures of the garden, but those will also not have credits to me under the photos. We made it to the back half before the landlord, sans machete. The path leads through the long narrow “lawn,” through a gate, past the tool shed, under an arbor, through a tree, around a bush, past a pond, through the roses to the back fence, where we can watch the high speed trains go by like ninjas. That is not a joke, all of that is really out there. It’s only half a jungle now, but still wild. :)

Playtime

So much to do in the new year! Coming up I have an essay due every two weeks for the next two months. I have two practical exams at the end of term two, meaning I have to practice as much and as often as I can to be up to snuff when they call my name. First exam working on someone other than a classmate, scary/exciting business, that. Rearranging the home space to incorporate the man and his effects. Working to maintain my emotional serenity and manage my thought patterns, focus on my potential to succeed. Sitting here feeling like a chipmunk with full cheeks, reminding myself that I can accomplish all of the big things I’ve bitten off, wondering how I’m gonna swallow this cracker without a big glass of water. Lots of work to be done, none of it unsolicited. I asked for this, and want it all, just have to remember to enjoy it while it’s happening and make space for the rest of what keeps me grounded. Looking forward to some bicycle adventures in the coming months, travel to hot climates, and upgrades in all spheres. 2012, here I come!!